


take a walk on the wild side

by kimaracretak



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Breathplay, F/M, delenn is actually the most terrifying, specifically breathplay via magical gravity rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:23:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimaracretak/pseuds/kimaracretak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain/you like your girls insane): delenn, g'kar, and the search for atonement during wartime</p>
            </blockquote>





	take a walk on the wild side

**Author's Note:**

> once upon a time someone on tumblr asked me for kinky magical gravity rings fic and uh
> 
> this happened

It starts with a war (because isn’t that where the best love stories start?).  It starts with a woman who feels too deeply, sees too much death, and tries to forget about the terrible darkness she locks away inside her.

It starts with a war (because isn’t that where the best tragedies start?).  It starts with a man who feels too little, sees too much death, and wants nothing more than to turn his darkness back on those who brought it to him.

They meet, of course; it’s only a matter of time.  It’s years after the war, years that they’ve taken and used to pretend that maybe they’ve recovered, maybe they can remember how to live again.

They can’t.

* * *

Delenn knows she was on the wrong side of the war, but more than that, she knows that the first time she looked upon a destroyed Human base that she was _happy._   And when G’Kar comes to her, dreaming of continued conquest,  his words wake something in her that she’s tried desperately to keep hidden - from herself and from others.  _I was wrong I was wrong I was wrong_ she repeats silently to herself, fists clenched at her side and face carefully blank.  But G’Kar knows he’s struck a chord in her has managed to reach into the parts of her soul that she doesn’t even tell _herself_ about.  He offers an alliance, and she adds _I didn’t enjoy it I didn’t enjoy it I didn’t enjoy it_ to her mantra but at that point she knows it’s a lie.  She can see the future he offers, can imagine herself grasping it - but the power they would unleash together is too much. 

She doesn’t break until he talks about the Line, and the Surrender.  What the Council did there, what they learned there, cannot ever see the light of day.

It terrifies her, how much she loves it.  Once she brought the Humans to their knees because of a split-second decision born of grief and anger and all the wrong reasons, but now - now she has G’Kar on _his_ knees because of a split-second decision born of her desire to protect the future and it feels _right._ It’s as if she’s split in two, one Delenn steadily pressing G’Kar back farther and farther, weighing him down with the force of three, four, five gravities and falling in love with the power; one Delenn who stands back, horrified, and asks _what are you that you could do this?_

She’s Delenn.  That’s all she’s ever been.

After G’Kar has stumbled out of her quarters, still gasping for breath, she puts the rings away and cries.

* * *

There are very few people who can say they’re proud of what they do during wartime.  Delenn wishes she were one of them, but she’s seen enough conflict now to know that that’s not going to happen.  All she can do now is atone.  She knows what she must do, and she knows she must do it alone.

“G’Kar,” she stops him before he can exit her quarters.  She has taken so much from him in these few short minutes; it’s time to give something back.  He watches, wary-eyed, as she crosses to a small panel in her wall that he hasn’t seen open in nearly four years.  His breath catches in his throat, the memory of being pinned against her counter, unable to speak, to breathe, to _live_ is terribly visceral after all this time.

Before he can think of something to say, though, Delenn’s wrapping his fingers around the cold red ring.  Her tear-filled eyes meet his.  “Do what you must,” she whispers, before stepping back a few paces.

G’Kar turns the ring over slowly.  It would be so easy to walk away, to leave Delenn alone with her thoughts and deny her whatever sort of absolution she thinks she can find with this gesture.  But he doesn’t.  Everything they’ve done today has been about confronting the worst parts of themselves - his lips twist in a mockery of a smile, because sometimes it seems that that’s the _only_ thing their interactions are about.  G’Kar has been so lost, these past months, watching his people and his planet slip out of his reach, and Delenn is offering him the first chance to be in control that he’s had in … he can’t remember how long. 

He doesn’t so much slide the ring down his finger as he forces it - it’s clearly meant for slender Minbari fingers.  As he raises his hand in front of him, he remembers the pure fury on Delenn’s face all those years ago.  Try as he might, he can’t summon the same anger as he feels the gravitational force begin to pulse off from the ring.

_One point five Gs._ Delenn backs into the wall, hand instinctively flying to her throat as she begins to feel her lungs constrict.  _Two Gs._ She braces herself against the wall with a trembling arm, her mouth open in a silent grimace.  _Two point five Gs._ Her head tilts back, eyes bright with unshed tears.  _Three Gs._ G’Kar moves closer, drunk on her utter surrender.  _Three point five Gs._ She coughs, arm curling around her chest in defiance of the g-force.  _Four Gs._ She’s completely pinned against the well now, arms spread, a modern-day Jesus on her cross.  _Four point five Gs._ She meets his eyes and in them he reads only trust.  _Five Gs._ She tries to speak, can’t, but in her lips he reads _I’m sorry._ With a strangled sob, he wrenches the ring off his finger and races to catch her tiny frame before it hits the ground.

There are no words for this situation - what do you say to the man whose race you were prepared to sacrifice, to the woman who just offered herself to you _as_ a sacrifice?  So they don’t speak; they run tentative fingers across each others’ faces, searching for answers to questions they’re not sure how to ask.  _Are you still here?  Are we still alive?_

He holds her as her breathing steadies, as her head drops down to his shoulder.  When his fingers brush against her bone crest, her breath catches for a reason that has nothing to do with the gravity rings.  She brings two fingers up to skim lightly across his lips.  When their hands make their way under each others’ robes, they find words.

_Yes. Yes. Yes._

* * *

The wars come again.  There’s been no shortage of them lately, but this time it’s different, because they can help each other.  They help in ways that maybe they’re not even aware of: G’Kar rallies the Narn with words that he has learned from her; Delenn unites the Minbari with tactics she has gleaned from him.  When they’re reunited on Babylon 5, they’re both a little bit quieter, a little bit wiser, eyes heavy with the weight of what they’ve lost.  But when their eyes meet, across the Council table or from opposite ends of the Zocalo, that burden lightens just a little.

They don’t meet again until Susan leaves to take care of the Human rebel fleet.  Delenn’s promised to care for the station in her absence, and she intends to keep that promise - but she’s forgotten how lonely command can be, especially with a foreign crew.  She bumps into G’Kar after leaving a dinner meeting with the Drazi ambassador, and impulsively invites him back to her quarters.  She’s not sure what she’s looking for - just a chance to talk, maybe, with someone else who understands what this most recent war has meant to her.  G’Kar probably doesn’t know what he’s looking for either, but he accepts after only the briefest hesitation.

She hadn’t counted on the memories that being alone with him would bring back, hadn’t counted on how real they would seem - the smooth texture of his skin beneath her fingertips, the dry press of his lips against her breast.  She flushes, and pushes the memories away.  She is engaged to John now, set to be the bridge that will truly unite Human and Minbari.  A one-time encounter, born of pain and anger and wartime impulsiveness, shouldn’t still be having this effect on her.

Once they’re together, though, they find themselves at a loss for words.  That’s always been their problem: they’re connected by feelings and by history, never words; when they do find words it’s too late.  So they sit perched on her chairs, letting the silence between them speak more than they could ever say.  Then, together: “I’m sorry,” and it’s like a dam has burst, laughter and tears rushing in to take the place of the silence.

When they’ve calmed down, Delenn stands.  “I have something to show you,” she says, and when she returns with a blue ring on her finger and another in her outstretched hand, he thinks he has an idea of where this is going.

“Delenn…”

“Shh.”  Her breath is warm on his ear as she works the ring onto his finger.  She laces their fingers together, one arm around his waist, and whispers “relax”.  He does - and the ground drops out from underneath their feet.  He gasps in surprise, flailing about in the sudden loss of gravity.  “Careful!”  Delenn laughs.  “This only works when the rings are touching each other.”

Equilibrium regained, he studies her face.  She’s wearing the first true smile that he’s seen in far too long, the marks of war finally receding from her face.  He can’t help but return her smile, the simple pleasure of being with someone who _understands_ taking over his shock.  They’ve become too weaponized, the both of them, unable to sit back and reflect on anything for any length of time.  But today, they’ve found it, and the fact that it’s been found because of the rings - the rings they’ve both used to nearly kill each other - is not lost on either of them.

The ground spins slowly beneath them as they hold each other.  They’re both alive.  It’s enough for now.


End file.
